By Mariani
In 18 years of weddings at Mariani’s Venue, I have learned that two vendors matter more than all the rest: the DJ and the wedding director. Last time I wrote about the DJ. This post is about the director. When the director gets it right, the whole day flows. When the director gets it wrong, the mistake does not stay in one place — it spills over to everybody else.
The director sees the whole day
A wedding director is not just someone who tells people where to stand. The director is the one person who sees the entire picture, from the first moment of the ceremony to the last dance — the timing, the people, the music, the photographs, the food, all of it moving together.
That is why one of the most important jobs of a wedding director is the ability to communicate very clearly. The director has to talk to the DJ, the photographer, and anybody else who is involved in the wedding, and everybody has to hear the same plan, at the same time, in words they understand. When the director communicates clearly, the DJ announces the right thing at the right moment, the photographer is in the right place for the moments that matter, and the guests always know what is happening next.
When the director does not communicate clearly, the whole day starts to come apart. The DJ announces something too early or too late. The photographer misses the first dance or the bouquet toss because nobody told him it was coming. The guests stand around confused, not knowing where to go. One person’s unclear directions become everybody’s confusion — and the bride and groom feel it most of all, because the day they pictured is not happening the way it should.
Not your mother, not your family
That is the very reason you should never hire your mother, or a member of your family, to direct the wedding. A family member often has tunnel vision. She loves you, and that love narrows what she can see — she cannot step back and see the entire picture the way a director must. A director has to watch everything at once: the timing, the vendors, the guests. A mother watching her daughter get married is watching one thing, and she should be allowed to. Let her be a guest, and let a professional carry the day.
One person for decorating and directing
Here is something I always tell brides: have the same person do the decorating and direct the wedding.
That way you are dealing with fewer people, you save much more money, and you have much less stress. The more vendors you have to deal with, the more stress you have to deal with. Every extra person is another schedule to keep, another set of instructions to repeat, and another chance for something to be misunderstood.
And there is something else that one person doing both jobs tells you. When you hire a decorator who also directs the wedding, that by itself should tell you this person has a lot of experience overall about weddings. Decorating is one skill. Directing is another. A person who can do both, and do them well, has spent years learning how a wedding actually works — not just how it looks, but how it runs.
So do not hire two different vendors, one for decorating and one for directing. It costs a lot more money, and the bride has to deal with two different people for what is really one job. Hire one person who can do both, and let that person carry the day.
What to look for
First, look at overall experience with weddings — not just experience with one part of a wedding. Ask how many weddings the director has actually run, from start to finish. A director who has only ever decorated has not run a wedding. A director who has only ever announced has not run one either. You want the person who has seen it all, many times.
Second, pay attention to how the director communicates with you. When you meet, does she explain things clearly? Does she listen to what you want, or just talk about herself? Does she have a plan for the day that she can walk you through, step by step? The way she talks to you before the wedding is the way she will talk to your DJ, your photographer, and your family on the day. If she cannot make the plan clear to you, she will not make it clear to them either.
Third, ask who will actually be there on your day. Make sure the person you meet is the person who will decorate and direct — not someone else sent in her place. And ask how she works with the rest of the team: the DJ, the photographer, the venue. A good director does not work alone. She brings everybody together around one plan.
One team, one day
At Mariani’s Venue, our weddings are all-inclusive and one-stop shop: the ceremony, dinner, reception, and after-party are all here, the catering is done in-house, and we hold only one event at a time, so your wedding is the only wedding that day. I personally coordinate each wedding, and our rain Plan B is included at no extra cost. Brides come to us from Charlotte, Raleigh, Fayetteville, and Wilmington, from Florence and Dillon in South Carolina, and from right here in Robeson County — and they all get the same thing: one team, one plan, and a day that runs the way it should.
That only works when the team works together. Your director has to be part of that team, not a stranger working on her own plan. When the director, the DJ, and the venue are all moving in the same direction, the bride and groom can relax and enjoy their day. That is the whole point.
So take your time with this choice. Meet the director. Ask the hard questions. And choose the person you trust to carry your celebration — because on your wedding day, that is exactly what the director will be doing.
If you are planning your wedding and you want a day that runs smoothly, with one team looking after every part of it, start with the details. You can get our Ultimate Pricing Guide at https://marianivenue.com/pricing-guide/.
— Mariani
